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I've been having a discussion with a teenage neighbor about waiting to have kids until I was in my 30s. What do you consider the advantages and disadvantages? Greater patience and maturity? Less energy?


Oh my!  How about:

1) Getting to go to Disney without kids, which means having a BLAST
2) Plenty of years of going to the movies WHENEVER you want
3) Years of going out with friends without having to say, "sorry guys, I don't have a sitter"
4) Drinking the whole bottle of wine with your partner at dinner without feeling like a bad parent (because you aren't one yet).
5) And this one is a big one....taking a NAP whenever you want, including the middle of the day on a weekend!
6) Shopping with only your cute purse swinging at your side, not a stroller strapped down with your purse, diaper bag, and chew toys for the baby
7) Purchasing the vehicle you want, not what's necessary for the kids

I waited until I was 32.  I had the opportunity to experience all the fun stuff for so many years, so I had absolutely no regrets when we planned to have our baby.  And that means I absolutely LOVE my time with him now.  I love family time so much because I have nothing to look back on and say, "Wow, I wish I'd had more time for that."  I had 32 years of arbitrary napping, 11 years of blissful wine sipping and going out with friends, and four trips to Disney with my husband, where we could be kids ourselves.  Waiting + to have a baby = awesome.  For mom, dad, and baby. 

Serious benefits include: having an established career before the stress of having a family - this means your finances are in order, which also means less stress on your marriage when baby does arrive.

The flip side is that I love my baby so much, I want like 10 more.  Ok, maybe not quite that many.  ;)  But, waiting does have the disadvantage of the old timer ticking away my baby-making years.  I suppose another disadvantage is aging grandparents.  My parents tell me they regret that I didn't have a baby sooner.  Now they feel too old to be able to really get out and enjoy him like they could have 10 years ago (fishing, biking, hiking, etc.) 

Great conversation to have with a teen, though!  Kudos for having the discussion!

I am 42. I met my husband when I was 30. I got married at 32. I had my 1st child at age 33; 2nd child at 36 years of age. Looking back, I truly think the first half of your 20s should be your own. Enjoy your independence. It would be nice if you could spend the 2nd half of your 20s with your husband - enjoy each other. I think the first half of your 30s should be when you have your kids. You are fully ready to devote all energies to your child. I recommend that you are done having kids by age 35. Even if you are healthy, risks with having kids increase after that. I wish I would have been done having kids before the age of 35, but it just didn't happen that way for me. For me, my motto was: "better late than never" & I am SO grateful to be a mommy. If you are lucky enough to meet 'Mr. Right' early on, you can always wait. If you meet 'him' later on, you might feel in a hurry to have kids. Either way, do NOT marry the wrong person because you feel in a hurry to have kids. Everyone will suffer that way. So, I am glad I waited for the right person, despite not being done having kids before age 35!