I am a little thrown off -- okay, maybe a lot -- by the changes that have occurred in my daughter since she turned 8 (about six months ago). At her 8th birthday, she was still my little girl. Since then, everything that was a favorite before is taboo now. Barbies, butterflies, the color pink ... Most of her wardrobe is too childish for her now. I realize all that was bound to happen, but it seemed to all happen overnight. The more jarring change is in her self-assurance. She is no longer confident enough to just freely like what she likes. If her friends don't like something, she can't either. And she is so easily embarrassed, it's hard to have a conversation in front of anyone.
Of course, there are other factors to figure in, and more than likely, they are as much responsible for the changes as anything. But I have a 10-year-old son who did not change so drastically at that age. So I'm wondering, have you seen this change in your child? If so, at what age? Is it her gender coupled with the age? Or should I just chalk this up to her personality?
My daughter is 10.5, and though her body is changing, she's still a "little" girl. She's clinging on to childhood as tightly as she can. But I'm afraid something like that will happen to her too. The book "Reviving Ophelia" may help you navigate these changes. Just keep loving her and making sure she knows that her OWN self-esteem shouldn't depend on other's opinions. Hugs!!
I think a big part of it is gender. Having both boys and girls that have gone through that age, our daughter is the one who we experienced more of a dramatic change. I think boys tend to "roll" with it more...at least in my experience.
I think you also have to figure in those other factors. They could be having a huge impact on her...and your only way of knowing is through the signs you're seeing.
I agree with Bonnie...you have to love her through it. The good and the bad.