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Public shaming

There's a new trend on social media where parents shame their misbehaving children in public. Is this a good idea or not?

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Ya know, it just figures. The minute I post about how I'm gonna change my life around, get more exercise and eat right, here comes the Super Bowl and potato chips and dip and a big ol' pot of chili. And all those good intentions went straight out the window like a cheating boyfriend's belongings. I gained four pounds just opening the bag of chips.

Despite my gluttony, I did make it to yoga (only once this week). But even though it was the beginner class, it hurt. It hurt like fire was devouring my muscles. I could hardly do the downward dog. My instructor's six months pregnant, and she's a big fan of downward dog 'cause it lets the baby hang free. And it hurt even though I've been going to yoga class religiously for the past year.

The pain comes because I have a new pain management doc and he's changing my pain meds. So either I'm having withdrawals or those little pills I had been taking were really doing the job and all my underlying pain is still there, ready to bring me not just to my knees, but all the way down to the floor. The pain feels like it did before I started taking the meds, though, so I'm thinking it's all still there.

It makes me want to just give up, put on my ratty sweatpants and grow old watching Judge Judy from my Hoveround™. (Seriously, though. I love that woman!)

I lived with the pain for a long, long damn time before I got the right meds, and now I have to stop taking them. I'm frustrated that the meds didn't somehow magically take away the root cause of the pain at the same time they dulled it away. My unstable spine was not magicked away, however, nor my freaky muscles. It makes me want to scream!

So, Internet friends, I ask you: What should I do? Curl in a fetal position with a heating pad and watch a Judge Judy marathon or tough it out? (I'm not really a tough-it-out kind of person, so I could use some advice on just how to do this.)

I think we all know what Judy would say.


I did the same thing - I felt so defeated for my choices that weekend. Here's how I felt afterwards - "Forget it, this is too hard, I'm tired of fighting this, its not fair, why me, waaaaa......" But this week I went back, it was hard. Today I went to Zumba and my back hurt (and I have back issues, so that was awesome). I can't imagine your pain level. Poor you. I mean this most sincerely - my sister taught me years ago, that a sincere "poor you" just feels good sometimes.

I would encourage you to stick with the exercise if you can. Even a small amount of toning, even a little wight loss will help. (These are the things I tell myself.) Chronic pain must be awful, so you have extra challenges I cant really understand, but I'm cheering you on - stay in the game.

I am so sorry and I have no advice. I do not have chronic pain and I cannot imagine it. For 2 weeks my shoulder was hurting so badly; it progressively got to the point where I could not open the 'frig or push a button on the microwave (hmmmm.... new diet tactics?) or turn the key in the ignition. A cortisone shot and an MRI if it comes back within 2 weeks gave me relief. But that was minor compared to your situation. I will pray it gets better soon; at least tolerable.

Hello! My name is Shannon. I struggle with joint pain/discomfort , chronic back pain, nerve pain, trouble getting out of bed, standing up from a seated position, and wound healing just to name a few. I take vitamin supplements to boost my immune system and aide in healing cuts/scratches. I was put on Elavil 150mg at bedtime for pain and it does work however, the side effect is WEIGHT GAIN. I was gaining and stopped counting once I hit 30 pounds and the addition weight made me feel helpless. In attempting to control a symptom (pain) related to my disease I add more pressure to my joints with every pound.
I have been a nurse for over 19 years and consider myself very knowledgeable in many aspects of medicine. I practiced what I had preached to my patients’ when it came to eating a well balance diet including 8 glasses of water a day, exercised, and slept about 6-8 hours nightly. I can still remember a colleague of mine many years ago saying “I will have a better looking corpse than you and I didn't have to do ****”. We laughed about it back then but I can assure you I wouldn't be laughing now. A friend recommended these meal replacement shake. I was very skeptical about any thing that wasn't natural, but after looking at the ingredients I decided to give them a try. I love them and I noticed a difference in my energy level after the 1st week or so. I have lost 20lbs in the past 3 months and yes I do have 1 good meal a day (steak and potatoes)and veggies/fruit as snacks. After seeing my results along with some of my co-workers weight loss, I decided to promote their product. I recommend never going on a diet/exercise plan or taking supplements without your doctors approval. We can never be to careful when it comes to dealing with our health. I get my shakes from This has been the best decision I have made in a long time. I am now able to be more active in my children's lives. I am living again!!!!

Bonnie, you have every justification for wanting to give up. You've truly been dealt a lousy hand. I don't believe there's anything any one of us can say to convince you not to take an extended vacation with Judge Judy. However, I think your answers are in your own words.

When you first posted about changing your life, you gave this reason: "I believe that, now that I've had children, I can't simply think of what's best for me. It has to be what's best for the family unit. ... So we've got to make every choice count so we can be around to see them grow into their own adulthood." What if you read that over and over to yourself, so that when you're stretching and in pain, you can focus on the words in your head and distract yourself from thinking about the pain? (I'm a big fan of distraction, especially when it comes to doing things I'd rather not do.)

Something else you said was, "Every pound down lessens the pain." I think that's also really important to remember, because so often, the finish line seems overwhelmingly far away. The thing is, we can't jump straight to it, so why shoot so high all at once? What if your goal today is to just do a little more today than you did yesterday? How about just trying for that one-pound change? When you get there, think about the next one pound -- not the next 9 pounds. Give yourself a break; just don't give up.

And remember the reason you started this in the first place. Hang in there, girl!

Thanks everyone for your great support! I have been gutting out my yoga again and the Valentine's chocolate is long gone. The weight gain is from a new med which is helping iwth my nerve pain, so it's worth it (I guess! LOL!) Your words mean a lot!